Letmebefrank ( member #86994) posted at 2:43 AM on Thursday, September 17th, 2026
I also know that closure isn't a real thing in these situations, at least not the type of closure you get from anyone else. But man, I'd really like to know that all these years and all my work and struggles weren't in vain, that I didn't waste them on somebody who never deserved me. Unfortunately, I don't think that's coming. Is it really enough for you guys to know that you did your best to live up to your vows and act with integrity
It has to be. Because with people like your WH, there’s no conversation that could ever suffice. There’s nothing that undermines ‘closure’ more than trying to talk with people who re-write history. You end up more wound up and in the end you remind yourself why you had to turn your back to them in the first place.
Oldwounds says something that I think of as an essential part of healing. He says "I trust myself." There’s so much in that simple statement, but that is what you need to do. It means so many things, but in this case I think you need to trust yourself that your work and struggles were not wasted. You did your very best, and no body, no single one of us, can do more than that. Doing your best is its own reward, and it’s a demonstration of your quality. It may be cold comfort, but there is real comfort in the pride and dignity you can rightly claim.
