SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hi,

So I found out 6 weeks ago and sometimes I feel over it and then it just hits me from nowhere. We were together for just over 6 years (it's obviously complicated at the moment-no decision making as I'm attempting to process.

I cry when I see videos of couples in love, love songs, anything it all makes me cry. I feel so numb with everything and I feel like after 6 weeks I should be further on than what I am.

I've just watched a video proposal and started bursting into tears, which tells me I'm not over this and maybe it's what I saw with my partner.

Right now, I feel like I just want to be alone forever.

Sophielou

Im so sorry you are going through this, but I'm glad you found SI so early on. There's a LOT of collective wisdom here from people who have walked this path already. I didn't find it for several months, and wish I had found it on day one.

There's a really good library of articles that can help you get some perspective in the healing library.

It probably seems like a long time, (I know 6 weeks of this hell was long for me!), but in reality you are very early in this process. Take care of yourself and don't make any big decisions until you have had time to process. It took me six months for the shock to start to wear off. I still have hard days, and the people further along this path tell me I'm still pretty early in the process at a year+ out. So try to take it easy, and prioritize your healing.

Please don't blame yourself for this. You IN NO WAY caused them to decide to cheat on you. This is 100% on the person choosing to cheat. In nearly all cases they try to blame something/someone else. Usually the spouse they betrayed. Don't take that kind of blame.

My WW never blamed me directly, but said many many times that I contributed to our "bad marriage", which led her to cheat. She was adamant that i "take responsibility for my part". Of course like most BS's that was the first time I heard about a so called bad marriage. I was completely blindsided. It's no wonder that the first video she sent me about Infidelity after D-day was a talk by Ester Perel .

So very sorry Sophielou that you are going through this. My heart goes out to you. When I first found out about my husband’s betrayal I couldn’t sleep and spent a lot of time researching how and why these things can happen. I bought books and videos to try to make sense of things. My emotions would swing just like yours and little things would set me off.

Take very good care of yourself in every way. You are so valuable and never deserved this. I found prayer, journaling, naps when possible and exercise to be very helpful and relied a lot on my faith. I spent time with my kids and other relatives when I could which was really helpful but sometimes it was exceptionally hard. Work helped me too as I enjoy my job and it gave me something else to focus on. However find what works for you. I needed more alone time for awhile and still sometimes do. I didn’t share with others for awhile to protect my children but then reached out to my spiritual advisor and got a counselor, and wished I had done that sooner. This site is really a wonderful help and wish I had found it sooner. It takes time but you will make it to the other side and give yourself lots of grace.

Sophielou, I'm so sorry you're here. 6 weeks is very early, and I was a mess even at 6 months. Worst rollercoaster ride of my life. Please check out the pinned threads in the "Just Found Out" forum. While you might not think that applies to you at 6 weeks, you have a long journey ahead of you, and some of the basics of what to expect and how to handle things will probably still be of use.