alwayslove ( member #86533) posted at 10:08 AM on Thursday, September 11th, 2025
You are stronger than you think. Take a deep breath and focus on yourself. You can’t stay like this forever. Start making small changes — go shopping with friends, hit the gym, go hiking, or do anything that brings you happiness.
icangetpastthis (original poster member #74602) posted at 5:55 AM on Monday, September 15th, 2025
Thank you - all of you. It has been 6 very long months since I filed for divorce (no minor children - they are all grown and wonderful). We had a mediation earlier this month and reached a settlement. There is nothing really left for either of us to do, but sign the papers after our attorneys put them together for the judge to review and sign. 21 days or less til it is final. Our marital home is up for sale, and I have my pre-approval for a new mortgage. The IHS is very close to being over. My new life in front of me. I have concerns about my financial situation as my STBEX came to mediation with empty bank accounts, and we live in a 50/50 divorce arena. So, he got 50% of what I have - and, I got 50% of nothing (he gambled away every dollar he had). We will split the proceeds of our house. I get to keep my inheritance money. My days are filled with cleaning up our house and packing my things, while he lays around watching gambling videos on the TV. He has tried to engage me in random conversation, which I dismiss and go about my business. Just yesterday I was in tears while I looked at the homes that I can afford now for my new single life. Then I was up most of the night unable to sleep. But, I must remain optimistic that I will continue to make the right choices. I keep telling myself that I have one chance to get this right. Then, focus on my mission. And, always remembering that He is with me. He has always been with me. My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He is with us. All of us. I am so thankful that I found this site and you. Thank you.
M = 40 yrs on DDay = May 2017, In House Separated = May 2024, Filed For D = March 2025
My DDay: https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums/?tid=665421&AP=1&HL=74602#mid8863521
Remember who you are and what you want
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 10:27 PM on Monday, September 15th, 2025
So there's light at the end of the tunnel for you. When you have your own place and you don't have to worry about STBXWH, you'll begin to feel so much peace. I'm sorry that he took so much from you but looking forward to hearing about your new place and your new life.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
Bigger ( Attaché #8354) posted at 10:42 PM on Monday, September 15th, 2025
Great to hear about your progress.
"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus
Formerpeopleperson ( member #85478) posted at 8:20 PM on Tuesday, September 16th, 2025
" I keep telling myself that I have one chance to get this right."
You’ll have lots of chances to get this right. There will be stumbles along the way. Don’t let them get you down.
Best wishes.
It’s never too late to live happily ever after
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 8:43 PM on Tuesday, September 16th, 2025
You are in the home stretch- congratulations!
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 9:26 PM on Tuesday, September 16th, 2025
You’ll have lots of chances to get this right. There will be stumbles along the way. Don’t let them get you down
I second this as we get lot's of chances in life to make changes for ourselves. Sometimes there are roadblocks and obstacles but we find a way. You will do great! Congratulations on a wonderful new start ahead :)
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
