SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So I think I shared last month at some point with you all that my son was coming home at the end of May.

For those of you who do not know, he has been incarcerated for 3 1/2 years. Simply, he made lots of bad choices… all for the purpose of getting money to buy drugs. (He was born addicted to crack.) So that has always been an issue.

Anyway, when it was time for him to come home, they postponed it one day, then two days, etc. Very very very long story short, they have not let him out. After lots of conversations with his lawyer, the state department of corrections, and the facility that he was in, we found out that his expiration date has been changed from the end of May, to October.

He is not really the same person now, as he was when he went in. Simply put, he has grown up. He is accountable for his choices now. In his head… not just due to his incarceration. He has had his head in such a good place for the last three years. His dad passed away last year without any notice. He was able to speak to him on the phone when his dad took a quick turn for the worst. But, they wouldn’t allow him a few hours to attend the service. And he took it all. He accepted it. He kept his head on straight.

When he found out that he wasn’t coming home, he had a bit of a setback. He became a little frantic. We stayed on the phone quite often and we would brainstorm about people we could speak to and things that we could do to see if we could get some answers. After a couple of days of a bit of panic from him, he set himself back to a good place in his head.

The latest thing that we know, and probably the final information we will get, is that it is MAYBE possible that it might be as soon as August.

My head tells me that it’s maybe just a couple more months, but my heart is really broken. He has served his time. He has gotten only one "write-up", having a nightlite on to finish a book 10 minutes after lights out. No trouble. No fights. He has been a trustee for the last 16 months.

Evidently the Department of Corrections is "God", so we have to accept what they say.

This is really hard.

I'm very sorry. I can't imagine how disappointing tis is.

So sorry, WR. I know you were excited to be able to see him. Fingers crossed that he's out earlier rather than later, but I'd plan on later so I could be surprised if it's does end up earlier.

Really sorry this is happening. Hoping for the best and prayers for him as he goes through this.

Well that is disappointing and seems so random. So sorry. If he’s done his time, it’s time for him to be allowed to go home.

So sad to hear about the delay.
Right when reading about it I was thinking about how this adversity might affect him. I hope he has a mentality where he realizes the goal is so great, that no adversity will take it away from him other than his own actions. That if he puts down his head and continues on the self-improvement and growing-up then there will come a time where "they" don’t have the authority to hold him back.
That he doesn’t see this setback as a sign that life will always be that way where he’s constantly being kicked to the curb. That this is "only" time – and that when he does get released he has the opportunity to create his own situation where these people aren’t capable of impacting his life anymore.

WR - 1000% what Bigger said.
Try to keep in mind the "everything happens for a reason" school of thought. It will happen and when it does he will be more prepared to live successfully.

((((WR))))

Absolutely… I totally agree.

After a couple of days of letting the shock wear off, he snapped right back to being in a good headspace. I’m so very proud of him. I was immediately enveloped in the unfairness" of the whole situation. But, he has told me that he is back to just "serving time" and that he probably made a mistake of getting his hopes too high, and should have just kept his head down until he was told to pack up.

I’ve even told him that it’s possible that even if he is able to get out in August, that maybe he just needed a little bit extra time to learn one final lesson that God had for him. And maybe being there another eight weeks would give him the time and opportunity to learn that lesson.

I cannot help but think of individuals incarcerated, who have no one on the outside to have a voice for them.

I will share something with you all that is slightly morbid and more than a little embarrassing. Ever since it became apparent that his dad would not survive until my son got out of jail, I have felt the imperative to be certain that I did. That I would be here for him when he got home. I cannot bear the thought that he would leave home 100% because of his bad choices, and when he comes home, both parents be gone. I’m thinking maybe I feel so helpless regarding his incarceration that I’m holding onto one gift that I could give him and that is that at least one of us could still be here when he gets back. 🙄. The things that helplessness can do in our heads!